Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Count Down

Chirstmas 30 days left

Feb 3 (my b-day) 70 days left

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

He who laughs last didn't get it.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

There are three sides of an argument -- your side, my side and the right side.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

The road to success is always under construction.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?

No,please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them. - Homer

"Press any key to continue, where's the any key?" - Homer


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.


The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.


If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?


You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson


Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.


Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?


"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams


Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson


When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.


There are no stupid questions, just stupid people


Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.


Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz


The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Monday, November 2, 2009


In the dark you tell me of a flower that only blooms in the violet hour.