Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

He who laughs last didn't get it.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

There are three sides of an argument -- your side, my side and the right side.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

The road to success is always under construction.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?

No,please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them. - Homer

"Press any key to continue, where's the any key?" - Homer

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